Twilight, and how I swore of humans

I resisted seeing Twilight as long as possible. Movies that have that sort of surrounding frenzy are bound to disappoint. I had also missed out on the books, which I figured would be far better than the film. Though, every time I entered a bookstore and saw Twilight on a main display table, the cheesy movie poster cover drove me away. Call me a literary snob, I am always turned off by book covers that rely on movie posters.

Despite my forced reluctance, I immediately fell for this movie. In fact, I'm not sure I want to ever date a human male again. Vampires only. But, only Edward Cullen. The LA Times reviewer wished she were 13, if just for the two hours while she watched, so she could really appreciate it as the target demographic. I wholeheartedly disagree. If I had seen this movie at 13, the bar would be set so high for the human male gender, I think they'd need a rocket launcher to reach it.

Okay, so the villain plot line is a little weak, but the intensity between Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson is palpable. Their love is soul crushing. My friends and I concluded that Stewart and Pattinson must have been having an onset romance. Their chemistry is not something that can be simply acted.

Sure, you can see where Robert Pattinson's pale make up ends. (Right on his jaw line. It doesn't take a PhD to know that you should also apply makeup to his neck.) And of course it helps that Pattinson's bone structure makes Greek statues look like pre-makeover Susan Boyle's descendants. (Seriously! Look at him!!!)It's easy for a woman's inner tween to bask in the glory of this teenage romance.

The fact that the movie is PG 13 is a refreshing break from the onslaught of nudity and sex in most teen geared films. The whipped cream bikini in Varsity Blues as well as the pie scene (among others) in American Pie are just a few examples of the common trend. Bella and Edward's love is pure, at least in terms of action. Sexual tension is about as racy as it gets, and the age old "less is more" theory holds up well with Twilight. All other vampire movies use vampires' sex addiction as an excuse to bombard the audience with kink. This movie relies heavily on mere glances across the cafeteria and, most important, across the school parking lot. Their glances, however, capture each of their heart throbbing desire. Though Edward may be dead, chivalry is not. He recoils from Bella when things get too hot. He insists that she dance--even if she isn't the dancing type. Oh, and then there's that whole saving her life thing. What a gentleman. The movie certainly is geared toward the teenage demographic, but there is more than a Taylor Swift song behind Bella and Edward.

Guys, the only way to my heart--until I see the next soul crushing romance movie--is to be a vampire.

From OC to Southland

After just one episode of NBC's new police drama Southland, I am hooked. Not only does it have a good mix of police officer and detective plot lines, but it is NOT a hospital drama. THANK GOD. I'm THROUGH with hospital dramas. Can the TV industry unanimously proclaim a 2 year grace period in which no more hospital dramas land prime time spots? Enough is enough. You may argue that there are more police dramas on TV. But hospital dramas are all the same because of one crucial aspect: setting. They are all shot inside the confines of a building. As far as I'm concerned, House could be limping around be a different ward of the Grey's Anatomy hospital. Sure, fleeting references and sky line shots of Seattle appear throughout Grey's Anatomy, but those shots feel more like postcards from the outside world that the doctors never see.

Okay, back to Southland. The cases in the first episode had a Law and Order feel to them, but there was more meat to the character development throughout the episode. I suspect that Southland will provide more insight into characters' personal drama than Law and Order. I would try to compare Southland to the CSI shows, but I have actually never watched an episode. I'm already thrilled with the casting of the show. Ben McKenzie, who made his claim to fame on The O.C., is perfectly cast as the fresh faced Bel Air boy who's taking a shot a being a cop. Obviously a rookie, McKenzie's character is already taking a lot of grief from the other cops. The whole cast seems comfortable in their roles, and it's just been one episode. I look forward to seeing Regina King on a prime time spot. She's been a sleeper actress for far too long.

Finally, Southland holds nothing back from the underbelly of Los Angeles. It is time for American television to depart from the shameless extravagance and privilege of shows like The O.C., The Hills, Gossip Girl, The Fabulous Life, Cribs, and Real Housewives of [fill in location]. Also, now that reality shows have reached a new point of surreality, I want dramas to provide a bit more photojournalism. Clearly, Southland is going to embellish a little, but the fact that the show is not shot on a studio lot makes the gritty cop drama more genuine.

Southland is just the cure to the hemorrhage of hospital dramas.